Another anxious day

Good morning everyone
       well I hope everybody having a ' good morning? I do pray for all of you several times a day because we all to connect in one way or another. It's amazing to me when I read my page the page that used to be filled with jokes and fun family drama family fun is now filled with stories of strong women and men that suffer every day. There is no way to explain why we all are so afflicted. I know enough people being punished by Jesus. I know that none of us did anything to deserve the hand we would doubt. Now don't get me wrong speaking for myself I thought for years I was being punished I was no angel I did a lot of things wrong. I didn't care about my self-esteem I didn't have any. I would put myself in dangerous situations hope and that someone would kill me because I didn't have the balls to do it myself. Well once that didn't work I turned to drugs. I was a drug addict for 15 years and I have been clean 15 years. Now five years ago and I don't know why the Holy Spirit came to me and brought me to Jesus. Since I was saved my help this gotten hundred percent worse, so I have to believe that Satan is behind it because I played in his playground so many years.

Now today is an anxious day that tried me on Exelon patch is which you make me very sick decreeing incontinence massive diarrhea I can't eat, I can't think, I couldn't leave the house for fear of having an accident. I didn't want to sleep in bed with Jo due to the fact that I would have to get up and change the sheets okay crying now. There is enough the medicine he had said that he was going to try me on and I'm hoping he does that today this symptoms of progress thing way too fast. I know I'll never be normal and I know my life will be shortened but I do know that I have the greatest support system in the world. I have my husband Joe to a lot of you know and I have our roommate/brother Craig that do everything in their power to make my life easier. And then into my life comes all of you I deleted all the jokes family drama and look forward to hearing from each of you every day. This dragon thing is cool by the way okay well I'm hoping this new medicine that does cause side effects Moroni last couple of weeks till it's in my system. My behavior has been so bad lately that my roommate's inflame my sister Lori and so I can see her. I started sending out some letters to all of you and I believe I'll of you have my cell phone number which is 352-461-4445. I'm hoping that writing are trying to write well help my memory you all lift me up and make me feel better. This blog is very difficult to do because you have to be so honest if you got a be evident help anybody else. You need to talk about the bad things like my temper my forgetfulness and all the losses that you suffer. I do know that everybody is different and I now everybody suffers differently. I pray extra hard for those people that are alone and don't have a support system I don't know how you do it and get through every day but know that you will love to be him prayed for.

Well I know that the Dr.  or two behind but I need to be followed a neurologist. You know I'm so used to be a control freak as I had no control over my life since I was a little girl. Now everything spinning out of control Elmo minute to minute with the happen and it's hard. It brings back memories of not being able to be able to control your own destiny what's pray that the new medicine will help and I appreciate every one of you. This blog may be a little messed up today but it's from my heart but I need to cut off now getting too emotional, and I don't want to go over Dr. with swollen red eyes.

Did Jesus look over my friends and family make them have less pain let them find the love and support they deserve. With them up weapons see the sunshine let them find the rainbows and let them feel less pain in a glorious name I pray amen.