Mixed Emotions

HELLO MY DEAR FRIENDS PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPSALWAYS IT IS EASIER IF THE DRAGON ISNOT AVAIL TO ME.
    WELL THINGS ARE GETTING HARDER, MY SYMPTONS HAVE INCREASED SINCE THEY STOPPED THE EXCELON PATCH. APPARENTLY ALL THE ACCIDENTS AND DIARRIA WAS A SIDE EFFECT.
        I WILL SEE NEURO AGAIN ON HTE 12OF FEB.THEY HAVE ANOTHER MED. I AM UP AND DOWN , THEN I GET SO UPSET I FLARE AND AM IN BED. I ALSO HAVE NYMPHROTIC SYNDRONE WHICH MAKES ME SWELL, HANDS LEGS FROM KNEES DOWN AND FACE EYES CLOSED.
 I CANNOT COOK RIGHT, FOLLOW RECIPIES AND MY ANGER IS SO BAD, I ACTUALLY PUNCHED A CABINET THE OTHER DAY, THAT IS NOT ME.WHEN YOU GET EARLY ONSET ALZHEIMERS IT COMES ON FAST AND FURIOUS AND IM SCARED AS HELL. I EVEN STARTED AFIGHT WITH MY DEACON , IM LOST, SAD, ANGRY, HAPPY, CONFUSED, ALL OF THESE.
          I AMALSO FRUSTRATED AS JOE HAS BECOME MY NURSE INSTEAD OF SBAND, WE CANNOT MAE LVE AS I GET AN INSTANT MIRRAINE WHICH PUTSME IN TEARSAND HIM COMFORTING ME. I CANT STAND THIS, BUT EACH DAY I TRY TO FIGHT TO FIND A REASON TO DEAL WITH THE LUPUS, FIBRO, AND THIS. I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO TRY THE ABILIFY THEY PUT ME ON AS IT APPEARS TO HAVE TO MANY SIDE EFFECTS.
              LORD, I NEED HELP, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO LOST I MY OWN MIND...MY  HARDEST THING I H AVE EVER GONE THROUGH MYPUTER IS MY ONLY OUTLET AND I LOVE SO MANY OF YOU. THE HARDEST PART IS NOT BEING NEAR MY SISTER LORRIE, SHE IS MY ROCK AND IM LOST WITHOUT HER.M LOST
          THIS DISEASE IS THE WORSE AS I WILL BE ALIVE ONLY AN EMPTY SHELL, TILL COMPLICATIONS TAKE ME TO JESUS.
                 I HAD SURGERY WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR PNEUMONIA, WHICH WAS MY FAULT. I KNEW I HAD IT I WAS BEING TREATED BUT AFTER 2 WEEKS I WAS GETING WORSE I WAS AFRAID IF I WENT IN I WOULD NOT BE COMING HOME. THEY HAD TO PUT A PORT IN MY CHEST AS I HAVE NO VEINS LEFT. NOW I HAVE TO WATCH FOR SEPSIS.
 I ONLY HOPE ONE DAY THAT SOMEONE WILL READ THIS AND UNDERSTAND WHAT AFAMILY MEMBER MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH OR THEMSELVES.
            IM LEARNING WHAT THE TEMPORAL LOBES DO FOR THE BRAIN AND THEY CONTROL ALOT EMOTIONS, COMMUNICATION AND SUCH, SO PLEASE FRGIVE IF I DO NOT SOUND LIKE MYSELF.....ANDPLEASEVKEEP FOLLOWING AS I NEED YOU AL, LORRIE I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND NEED YOU MORE ......