A NEW DAY?

donnalynnmorin55@aol.com
GOODMORNING EVERYONE,
    WELL I DID ALOT OF THINKING YESTERDAY AND DECIDED I WOULD TRY TO DO SOME THINGS. I PUTTERED AROUND THE HOUSE, THEN GOT BORED THE REST OF THIS BLOG IS HOW I SPENT MY DAY, FUNNY AND SAD BUT EVERY WORD I WRITE IS TRUE, THESE ARE MY FEELING, NOT THE THOUGHTS OR OPIONS OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK I SHOULD WRITE.
            YESTERDAY WAS LIKE ANY OTHER, KEEP CHANGING CLOTHES ECT DECIDED TO STAY IN MY BATHING SUIT LOL. I AM HAVING SOME GASTRO RELIEF FROM GOING BACK ON THE EXCELON PATCHES AND NOT THE ARICEFT. ALOT LESS ACCIDENTS AND ALOT LESS LAUNDRY. SO I GOT ADVENTEROUS AND DECIDED SINCE I WAS NOT FAMILUAL WITH THE PARK I LIVE IN I WOULD GO FOR A RIDE INCASE I EVER GOT LOST, WELL HOW STUPID DOES THAT SOUND? I GOT ON MY SCOOTER AND WENT UP AND DOWN STREETS AVOIDING THE EXIT TO THE STATE ROAD LOL. WELL AFTER A HALF HOUR I COULD NOT FIND MY WAY HOME. I DID FIND  A LADY THAT KNEW ME ON HER BIKE AND SHE SAID FOLLOW ME, SO I MADE IT HOME. I THEN WENT TO THE POOL TO TRY TO EXCERSIZE AND SEE THE BIG GATOR WE HAVE IN THE POND, SO I BROUGHT MY CAMERA, HE ONLY POPPED UP ONCE AND I MISSED THE SHOT. I SWIM WITH A FLOTTIE FOR ABIT, THEN CAME HOME AND NAPPED.
                LATER ON I WAS TALKING TO MY SISTER, YOU WILL HEAR ME REFER TO HER OFTEN, HER NAME IS LORRIE, ALTHOUGH I HAVE MANY SIBLINGS LORRIE IS MY LIFELINE AS EVERYONE HAS THERE OWN LIVES AND FAMILES I DO NOT GET TO TALK TO THEM MUCH. MY BABY SISTER, WHO I PRACTICALLY RAISED DECIDED 7 YRS AGO I WAS NOT HER SISTER ANYMORE, TO THIS DAY MY HEART IS BROKEN BUT IM DONE CARING. I NEED TO LIVE MY LIFE AND AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED SHE IS MISSING THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE, THE PERSON I HAVE BECOME. THE CHRISTIAN I HAVE BECOME, THE NON ADDICT I HAVE BECOME. YES I WAS AN ADDICT HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR OVER 15 YRS, I STILL ATTEND CELEBRATE RECOVERY TWICE A WEEK AT OUR CHURCH, SO I CAN WALK CLOSER TO JESUS AND HOPEFULLY HELP SOMEONE WITH ADDICATIONS, PAST HURTS AND HANG UPS, IT IS NOT JUST FOR ADDICTS OF DRUGS NAD ALCOHOL IT IS FOR ABUSED PEOPLE WHO CANT LET THE PAST GO, OVER OR UNDER ESTERS, PORN ADDICTS YOU NAME IT, ALL CAN BE HEALED THROUGH JESUS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR.
I CAN STILL HELP PEPLE AFTER SUFFERING 10 YRS OF SEXUAL ABUSE AND TORTURE. I HAD TO LET GO LET GOD AND STAY AWAY FROM FEELING NUMBBING DRUGS. I CAN BE OF HELP TO JUST ONE PERSON THEN MY LIFE IS FOR NOT.
                WELL BACK TO LORRIE, SHE SAID VERY STERNLY THST SHE DID NOT WANT TO HEAR, WHEN I CAN'T, WHEN I WON'T, ALL OF THAT NEGIITIVE STUFF THAT IS IN MY FUTURE. SHE REMINDED ME THAT WE ONLY HAVE TODAY AND WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW IS NOT IN OUR CONTROL. SHE REMINDED ME OF THE LOVE I HAVE FROM JOE, MY SON AND HIS FAMILY, MY CHURCH AND ALL MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS ON FACEBOOK AND THOSE WHO FOLLOW MY BLOG. SHE SSID I WAS IN THE BEST PLACE WHER I HAD THE MOST SUPPORT, THE MOST LOVE. WHEN THINGS GET WORSE THEY WILL PEROID. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO AND I AM NOT A FORTUNE TELLER SO I CANT TELL WHEN I AM GOING TO GET WORSE. I WISH I KNEW TO PLAN, BUT THEN I DONT KNOW DO I, DO ANY OF US KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING. AS OF NOW I TALK TO MYSELF, I REPEAT MYSELF ALL THE TIME, MY MIND FORGETS ALOT OF THINGS BUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY OR YESTERDAY , MAYBE THE DAY BEFORE BUT I CAN REMEBER ALL OF THE PAST. I DO NOT REMEBER WHAT DAY IT IS, WHAT IME IT IS, BUT I REMEMBER THE LOVE, WHEN JOE REMINDS ME IT IS MED TIME, BEDTIME, LOKS AT ME WITH SUCH LOVE. HE STILL DESIRES ME SO MUCH BUT IS SO PATIENT WITH ME.HE GENTLY REMINDS ME HAT HE HAS ALREADY TOLD ME SOMETHING 3 TIMES OR THAT I HAVE SAID SOMETHING 10 TIMES. HE DOES THIS WITH LOVE.WE SAY GRACE EVERYNIGHT AND WE PRAY FOR OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND THANK JESUS FOR ANOTHER DAY, TODSY, YES JUST TODAY IS ALL WE ARE SURE OF, THERE ARE NO PROMISES OF TOMORROW, SO I WILL LIVE FOR TODAY AND SOMETIMES IN MY CASE I WILL LIVE FOR THE MOMENT AND STROE IT IN MY BRAIN AND TRY TO REMEMBER IT ALWAYS.
      SO I HAVE MENTIONED MOST OF THE SYMPTONS, I WAKE UP ALOT AT NIGHT BUT THIS IS DUE TO THE MEDS. I HAVE HAD A COUPLE OF SEZIURES BUT I AM AWARE WHEN THEY HAPPEN THEY ARE NOT SEVERE AND THEY LAST A FEW MOMENTS. THE ONLY THING THAT SCARES ME IS MY SWOLLING REFLEX, I TAKE A BITE OF FOOD OR DRINK SOMETHING AND CANT SWALLOW IT, I JUST STAND THERE TELLING MYSELF TO SWALLOW ONE OF TWO THINGS HAPPEN EITHER I ASPERICATE OR HAVE TO SPIT IT OUT. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR MONTHS AND IS GETTING A LITTLE WORSE. I CAN STILL MATCH MY CLOTHES, PUT MY MAKEUP ON, BUT HAVE FEARS OF SHOWERING WHEN JOE IS NOT HOME SO I WAIT FOR HIM.......... I AM SURE THERE IS MORE T OCOME BUT I WILL NOT WORRY ABOUT IT, TODAY IS MY CONCERN AND I PRAY IT IS A GOOD ONE FOR ME AND FOR ALL OF YOU...............