WELL TODAY DIDENT START TOO BAD. I GOT UP AT 5 30 AM AS IM ON SO MANY PILLS I HAVE ALL WEIRD HOURS TO TAKE THEM. THE MED FOR THE ALHEIZMERS MAKES YOU NOT SLEEP WELL, EVEN WITH A SLEEPING PILL.
I HAD AN EYE APPOINTMENT SO I WENT THERE WITH ALL THE NESUA THAT COMES WITH THE ARICEFT. WHEN I CAME HOME I MADE A CUP OF SOUP AND THEN CHSNGED ONLY TO REALIZE I HAD BEEN INCONTINANT AGAIN. THIS IS NEW THE PAST 2 MONTHS, I TRIED ALL THE DIFFERENT PADS AND FINALLY BROKE DOWN AND BOUGHT DEPENDS, YOU KNOW THE ONES YOU CANT TELL YOUR WEARING, WELL THEY LIE, THEY HANG FROM YOUR HIPS AND PULL UP TO YOUR BOOBS, SO I TRASHED THAT 20.00 DOLLARS.
I CANT EAT ANYTHING AS EVERYTHING JUST PASSES THROUGH ME,WEIGHT LOSS 2 LBS , I SHOULD LOSE 100 AT THIS RATE.I MADE A CUP OF SOUP AND WENT TO LAY DOWN ONLY TO MAKE 5 MORE TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM. WITH ALL THE ILLNESS I HAVE THIS ONE IS THE MOSY HUMILIATING AS YOU CANT HIDE IT, MY SPEECH FAILS ME, MY MIND FORGETS THINGS, I HAD YET ANOTHER SEZIURE AN HOUR AGO, JOE HAD TO HOLD MY ARMS DOWN.
I SEE NEURO TOMORROW , WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO THERE IS NO CURE ONLY THESE MEDS TO SLOW IT DOWN.
THIS IS THE SADDEST I HAVE BEEN, I TRY TO LIVE FOR TODAY, I PRAY FOR TODAY AND I GIVE PRAISE EVERYNIGHT FOR MY DAY, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I HAD ANOTHER DAY.
I NEED TO LIVE FOR TODAY, BUT ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU THEY CAN LIVE FOR THE MOMENT OR THE DAY AND NOT THINK ABOUT TOMORROW IS JUST PLAIN LYING, WE ALL PLAN OUR NEXT DAY, OR NEXT NIGHT. I STILL WANT TO BELIEVE I WILL SEE MY GRANDKIDS GROW UP AND REMEMBER THEM DOING SO. I WANT TO BE AT THEIR WEDDINGS, HAVE GREATGRANDKIDS AND REMEMBER THEM. MY DISEASE WONT KILL ME THIS I KNOW, AND ONE OF MY OTHER ONES WILL, I WISH I COULD SHAKE THE FEELING THAT JESUS JUST HEALS SOMETIMES BY BRINGING YOU HOME. IM NOT READY BUT WHAT I WILL DO IS FIGHT, AND DHARE THIS HORRIBLE, HUMILIATING DISEASE.........
I WILL LOVE MY HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL SEE ME IN HIS EYES NOT SADNESS, I WILL HIDE MY TEARS AND SEEK JOY IN THIS LIFE AND I WILL ALWAYS TRY TO REMEMBER JESUS IS WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT
Wow, what beautiful words from such a beautiful woman ! You are such a Blessing to those who know you. I am so glad that you started this blog. I really think it will be great for you and for those close to you . You are such an inspiration. You are difinately a child of God. He will help you and Joe get through this. I think that you putting everything out here is Wonderful ! You are so Brave and Courageous. Never doubt yourself. Jesus will see that you remember that he is always with you. I will always be here for you and Joe both. If you ever need me you know how to get ahold of me. You are truly awesome and dont forget that. Love, Cindy
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