THEY SAY 50 IS THE NEW 30 BUT THEY LIE. IT DOES NOT FIT PEOPLE LIKE US WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND ILLNESS.AS MOST OF YOU KNOW I HAVE 23 DIFFERENT ILLNESSES. I KNOW ATLEAST 4 OF THEM CAN KIL ME , MY PRIMARY CLOTTING PROBLEM CN KILL ME AT ANYTIME, IT IS LIKE HOLDING A TIME BOMB. BUT WITH MY FAITH IN JESUS AND THE PRAYERS FROM ALL OF YOU MY FRIENDS WHO CARE ENOUGH TO READ THIS, I HAVE MADE IT THROUGH.
HAVING JOE IN MY LIFE THESE 9 YEARS HAS BEEN INCREDIBLE, HE KISSES ME AWAKE EVERY MORNING AND SAYSS "GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL".
I USED TO FEEL THAT WAY, I USED TO GO TO BED TRYING TO LOOK ATTRACTIVE, PRETTY NIGHTIES, ALWAYS SATIN, ALWAYS FELT SO GOOD AGAINST MY SKIN.
NOW IT IS PJ'S AND NOT ONLY PJ'S BUT DUE TO I THINK THE MEDICINE FOR THE ALHEZIMERS, I HAVE TO WAER BOTH PJ'S , UNDERWEAR AND DEPENDS TO BED, WHEN JOE REACHES FOR ME IN THE NIGHT, I HAVE TO PUSH HIM AWAY. I HATE THIS, I HATE THE FACT THAT MY BODY FEELS 80. I HATE THE FACT THAT MAKING LOVE HAS BECME A CHORE. I HATE THE FACT THAT I CANNOT ENJOY HAVING DINNER WITH JOE WHEN HE COMES HOME FROM WORK AS I NEVER KNOW WHAT I CAN EAT THAT WON'T RUN OUT MY BODY.I MISS THE DAYS OF HOLDING EACHOTHER, HAVING DINNER TOEGHTER, LONG RIDES WHEN YOU DONT HAVE TO STOP EVER 15 MINUTES. WHERE IS MY BODY, IT WAS NOT PERFECT, I AM NOT BEAUTY QUEEN BUT I DO TRY TO LOOK MY BEST, BUT THINGS ARE GETTING OUT OF MY CONTROL. THIS NEW DIAGNOISIS IS KILLING ME, I DO NOT KNOW IF I HAVE THE FIGHT. I KNOW I HAVE FAITH , BUT THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE GOME THROUGH. TO KNOW I CASN REMEBER YOU ONE DAY, ENJOY A CONVERSATION THEN NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING THE NEXT DAY IS KILLING ME. WHERE AM I GOING WHEN I GO INTO MY MIND AND CSNNOT EXPRESS MSLEF, HOW CAN I ASK JOE TO HOLD ME ,COMFORT ME WHEN I DO NOT KNOW HIM.
WHERE ARE THE DSYS OF COOL SATIN ON MY SKIN, MAKING LOVE WHEN EVER YOU WANT WITHOUT PAIN OR TEARS OR WORSE YET EMBARESSMENT. I WANT ME BACK. I HAVE JOE, ONE SISTER WHO STAND BY ME NO MATTER WHAT, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I HAVE FRIENDS, FRINDS I HAVE NEVER MET AND WHO HAVE BROUGHT SUCH JOY INTO MY LIFE. FILLED MY DAY WITH PRSYERS , LAUGHS ND TEARS, I JUST WANT ME BACK, I WILL TAKE ALL satan CAN THROW AT ME, BUT PLEASE DONT TAKE MY MIND LONG WITH MY BODY,
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