My Journey through Alhezimers: error correction

My Journey through Alhezimers: error correction: joesgroup2011@facebook.com , HE IS TERE FOR ALL OF US AND HE NEEDS US ALL S IS SINKII, PLEASE HELP HING FAST

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joesgroup2011@facebook.com, HE IS TERE FOR ALL OF US AND HE NEEDS US ALL S IS SINKII, PLEASE HELP HING FAST

My Journey through Alhezimers: UPDATE EVERYONE PLEASE READ

My Journey through Alhezimers: UPDATE EVERYONE PLEASE READ: MY DEAR FRIENDS, THIS MAY BE HARD TO READ ASICANNOT TYPE WITHOUT DIFFICULTY. JOE SET THE DRAGON UP ON HISPUTER BUT I CANNOT DO MY VOICE PR...

UPDATE EVERYONE PLEASE READ

MY DEAR FRIENDS,
 THIS MAY BE HARD TO READ ASICANNOT TYPE WITHOUT DIFFICULTY. JOE SET THE DRAGON UP ON HISPUTER BUT I CANNOT DO MY VOICE PROFILE UNTIL TEPNEUMONIA IS GONE. THIS IS MY SECOND WEEKSON ANTIBIOTICSAND MY RIGHT LUNG IS STILL FULL.I THINK WHEN MY DR GETS BACK I WILL BE IN HOSP.
     I SAW MY ;AST NEURO WHO I PICKED TO TAKE CARE OF THE ALHEZIMERS. HEIS VERY CARING AND AGRESSIVE. MY PROGNOSIS IS VERY POOR SINCE I GOT IT SO YOUNG. THEY ARELOOKING AT 5 YRS. THE DISEASE DOES NOT  KILL YOU, IT IS COMPLICATIONS LIKE MALNUTRICIAN, PNEUMONIA FROM ASPERATION. FALLING ECT.
               I ASKED WHAT TO TELL MY FAMILY, MY SON, THE DR SAID TEL HIM I HAVE A TERRIBLE DISEASEAND I WILL LIVEEACH DAY  TO THE FULLIST.THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD TO DO ASI CAN ALREADY FEEL MYSELF SLIPPING AWAY. HE SAID I HAVE HAD IT A YR OR MORE. ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS THELUPUS OR FIBRO FOG, DO NOT TAKEANYTHING FOR GRANTED.
         I AM VERY WORRIED ABOUT JOE. HE IS STILL IN DENIAL, WANTS ME IN BED ALL THE TIME. I NEED HELPAROUND HERE VBUT MEDICAID WILL NOT SEND HOMEMAKER OR OR VISITING NURSE. DUE  TO THE COUMIDIN I NEED MY BLOOD CHECKED EVERY WEEK, IT HAS BEEN OVER A MONTH..
         I AM QUITTING SMOKING ON THE FIRST DR SAID I HAD TO. MY PRIMARY SAID GO AHEAD AND SMOKE NOT GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE NOW, MY LUNGS, HEART,KIDNEYSM BRAIN AND DIABETES ARE ALL MESSED UP SO ENJOY. THE NEURO SAID STOP AND STOP NOW.
              I FIND MYSELF ISOLATING STAYING IN MY ROOM, NOT TAKING CALLS ECT. I HAVE NOT BEEN DRESSED IN 3 WEEKS, JOE HELPS ME SHOWER, IT IS SO HUMILIATING. I WANT TO BE A WIFE NOT A PT.
               NOW TO ALL OF YOU, IF NOT  FOR YOU ALL AND JOE ALONG WITH MY FAITH NOW THAT I HAVE GOT OVER THE ANGER, I WOULD BE GONE. I HAD NO WILL TO LIVE LIKE THIS. YOU ALL HAVE SAVED MY LIFE. THE PICTURES THAT VILDA MADE MADE ME SMILE I WANT TO PRINT THEM TO PUT ON MY MEMOERY WALL. JOE GOT ME A FANCYHAT BOX TO PUT MEMORIES IN FOR MY FAMILY WHEN I AM GOME. TO SOME OF YOU 5 YRSSEEMS LIKE I LONG TIME BUT IT ISENT, IT PASSES FAST..... AND YES I AM STILL SCARED. I WOULD PRAY FOR ALL YOUR PAIN TO GO AWAY, FOR A CURE FOR YOU ALL AND I WOULD LOVE IF WE CAN BE TOEGHTER TILL THE END. I NEED YOU ALL.
         MY MIND IS FAILIG, I TALK TO MYSELF, I BURN MYSELF ON THE STOVE, CAN FIND MY DISHES AND FORGET WHAT I DID 5 MINUTES AGO, I LOVE YOU MY FRIENDS AND PRAY YOU NEVER LEAVE ME AND I PRAY YOU WILL ALLBE THERE FOR JOE...............GOD BLESS YOU MY SISTERS
     FOR A SPECIAL FRIEND VICTOR TY FOR BEING BACK IN MY LIFE AS A CHRISTIAN MAN, YOUR PRAYS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT AFTER 34 YRS WE WOULD BE ALIVE, AND HAPPY, MARRIED AND WALKING WITH JESUS

MY NEW YEARS BLOG

MY DEAR FRIENDS,
        THIS IS GOING TO BE SHORT AS THEV VOICE THING IS ON JOES PUTER AND I CANNOT DO MY VOICEASI STILL HAVE PNEUMONIA

My new year

A bright new dayand a bit of honesty

Helloeveryone,

It's really hard sometimes to know what to say when you mine goes round and round in circles. One moment I'm Lafon one moment I'm crying or I get this blank stare on my face. Yet again another unseeing illness that nobody understands nobody can see it hurts to now that the so many people and family that don't believe that you sick because you look well. I am so sick of all hypocrites I was saying the other day to a friend you now I wish I had cancer they could hear a I could use it who's abreast in our Malay but two things would happen I be cured in people would believe I was sent.

Both come to the time that I don't care who thinks I'm sick and who doesn't think I'm sick I know what it's like to have to have my husband dress me undress me shower me watch me choke when I try to eat cry for me in dry my tears. I don't need to hypocrites in my life. These go from church members to family members to friends and him not read deal with it anymore I have one person that I want to spend the next five years with and that's my husband Joe if you are not with me you are against me and I don't need you I have special Angels I have Joe and I have the love of Jesus. I know this sounds a little angry but I am so sick of running into people talent me you look wonderful you must be all better I'm not all better my prognosis is poor but I'm not going to keep on going on and on about I got five years to live I'm in a live those five years and I'm gunnel liver without the negativity that comes into my life I don't need you I don't want you I want people like TM and people that I can care for. I have met so many strong wonderful women through Facebook and support groups as the last you have an old friend that I love dearly enter my life again and I know she'll be here when I leave to be wrapped in the arms of Jesus so if you can't support me or if you can't support a loved one that suffering from a disease that you can see to the my favor to stay away we don't need to drive, we don't need the criticism and we don't need the hypocrisy we have a Java we are strong woman and the rest of you just kiss our asses. You know who you are when I say this I love you my prayers are with you and I pray that all of you have less pain and have a joyous holiday and let's remember what it's about Jesus the one that's taking care of us now.

A BRIGHT NEW DAY

Good morning everybody well, this is been a roller coaster of the week about 10 days ago my doctor sets me off the Alzheimer's meds, she did not want to mask any symptoms as I go for my third opinion on the 14th. Joe and I have both noticed that my memory is worse a lot faster than we thought. Without the medication. My memory is very bad he can't sign my dishes. What's, and what cabinet my balance is off. Joe helps me with my close it all seems to be happening so fast. I just turned 56 last week, and the prognosis is very poor for a person my age gel. I think you still in denial as he will not go or read any of the care provider books he has no idea where these in for.

          I really am trying to live my day day day. However, our mates. You may never know how that beat Joe make Sherry takes me to get my hair done in many else.Joe  is doing everything possible to help me, but I want my husband back. I don't want a nurse. East being very patient. I've been very mean, I think I'm trying to push away in that don't want to do this without him. I don't want to live. We have not told anybody in my family. The prognosis yet we figured that we would wait until my next appointment.On the 14th.

I keep asking myself why this is happening. Like I've said before, applicable to lupus all my life I excepted it. I don't what the flares that in the fire broke I dealt with it still did my chores still moved around. If I couldn't get up. I didn't get up in out, and the story I was born. The primary clot disorder intake. What then is, but that doesn't matter. They can still kill me at any time. Finally, when Intuit, found out I had diabetes. Okay, God didn't do this to me if I excepted all. I went to church. I kept my faith. I believed Satan had his little minions run around by me because I was getting closer to Jesus. My family doesn't understand. I have my church family was great and only it's the people that have, hurts,  hangups and speed bumps in the own lives. I told themlast  week I wasnot going  to go anymore that it wasn't helped by the naturally, they talked me out of it. Joe goes with me at first  to support me, but now he goes to get some support himself. Ladies, if I get asked you for anything. Please please please please go to Joe's room. It's called Joe's crew 2011@Facebook.com. He will listen to you Amazing to me. Actually,  that with this technology. I can find so many loving genuine caringfriends  on that thing called Facebook. I have listened to other stories, their pains, the joys their wishes and dreams. and we all have a common thread, we all believe in Jesus him. We all believe that we will be healed. From last week. I been doubting my faith.. I believe in God, I believe that he does not hurt us, but I also believe that sometimes the only time you can be healed is when Jesus takes you home to meet his father.

My dear friends, I guess what I'm trying to tell you is I have been hurt, abuse, deceived like to devastated ripped apart all my life since I was a child. It did not break me. It made me make some bad choices, but it did not break me. It made me stronger and I have to now promise to Joe and to all of you, as an example that I couldn't fight that Armstrong. I have overcome so much. I'm not afraid of dying. I know there's a better place for me. But as long as I'm yeah, I am going to fight this. I will not lay down. I will stand strong. I will be the beautiful angel that was in the pitches that were made on Facebook. God bless you, when you made my day.So ladies, let's think of off like I said, I'm older I don't have children to chase around. I can't work anymore. Some of you have to deal with this would don't little children and families in working but were all strong enough matter what affliction that we have. We will always be here foreach other. The time will come when I'm not actually able to post anymore, the Dragon will help spin a godsend from Joe to be evident talk. Instead, a type.

To sum it all up. Besides Joe, you while in my church family are all I have. I can't tell my son that I'm dying to tell him when I get the final diagnosis settlement meantime, I'll be here for you. Please share with me. Let's just live each day. I'm not a really tried in Ghana fight and honest step into that ring intake that last punch like my modality. God I love you all and thank you thank you thank you for supporting me supporting my blog and given me hope. It's

If I could go back

Hello everyone,
      I know it's been a while since I've blogged this just too many emotions too much to go through when I go the doctors, the news just keeps getting worse and worse. But I have another opinion, December 14. This things. I don't how to tell my family were wanted to my family, my church friends know everything in a know it will stay there and I know I can talk to you all. You, you are all like family to me, and it seems the days get shorter and shorter. I don't know about a lot of you, but I get seasonal depression. This time, media time joy the time of Christ's birth. By four o'clock. I just want my pajamas on and climb in bed, but that just wakes me up between three and four.
        How you go back to the way things used to be media parents were alive when everybody gathered around for holiday dinners whenever that was plenty of food. Everybody was always welcome. Had he go back to the days of good solid marriages now eyeing that if you make files you would be together forever. Today, 15 teaching our children values. Values that they would stick to it. We go back to days of keeping God in our lives. I think I'm sort of reflective today I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to think I want to dance. I want to go shopping and be with my friends. I don't want any pain. I wanted me set this and I don't want that for any of us. I want us all to have the lies that we used to have. So I guess on this holiday season. We can't go back allies are what they are, some shorter than others. Some of us have more pain than others. The only thing I don't want to lose my faith. I know Jesus didn't do this to me. I know what Satan in his little minions out there that try to hurt us all.
     I know that most of us will never danced and sang there may have the days of old, but I do pray that the upcoming year brings us must pain more yelling more research more health more money and more love between all of us. There's enough love to fill a motion that I don't want any of us to be lonely, either in our homes, our hearts are in our minds. I know we will always be there for each other in even when the day comes that I don't remember you while I know there's a special place in my heart in you will always, always remain there. One thing I do have to learn is not take for granted the love that I do have I'm blessed to have somebody stand by me and him pushing him away in its cause and a lot of risk that our marriage. He's all I have any friend of the best guys in the world. And the closer he tries to become and the more he tries to help the more I resent him so I could use some prayers on that, ladies and gents, so just let me add this little prayer
     did Jesus in your name. I asked for you to help the doctors find healing fine compassion, but then not be kind condescending and listen to us. Listen to our pains and what we go through every day. Lord help them find medicine. She gave us some of the days of old. Back all lot of my friends still Lord Earl lot younger than me. They have a full life, I had with them. Let them have the allies let them have their families. Let them find love. Please did Jesus let them have less pain be ever to get out of bed, the ever watch a sunrise or sunset. To feel the cool wind on our faces Lord, let us have a very simple thing a life to live, to glorify You   give you praise. In your glorious name I pray, Amen

HOW DO I KNOW???

SO SITTING HERE LISTENING TO THE RAIN, IT SOUNDS SO PEACEFUL, YET ME BRAIN IS SCRAMBLED. I AM SAYING AND DONOT REMEMBER, I HAVENT POSTED MY BLOG BECAUSE I I CANNOT TYAT I FEEL, JUST WANTED TO POP ON AND TELL YOU ALL YOU ARE LOVED AND I AM GREATFUL.
          IM SAD ALL THE TIME, I FIND NO JOY, THIS IS GETTING ME KNOWWHERE WILL BLOG WHEN I AM LESS DEPRESSED, LESS PAIN , LESS CONFUSED

IGNORANCE!!!!!!

THIS  IS HARD TO BELIEVE AND AGAIN PLEASE EXCUSE MY TYPING.
      YESTERDAY I WENT TO BIBLE STUDY BEFORE CHURCH, I RUN INTO PEOPLE WHO WHEN THEY HEAR MY DIAGNOSIS OF ALZHEIMER'S THEY ARE IGNORANT AS TO WHAT ALZHEIMER'S IS.IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME THEY WERE PUT ON SUPPELMETS FOR MEMORY LOSS THAT THEY HAVE ALZHEIMERS IM GOING TO SCREAM.
          I AM NEW TO THISAND TRYIN TO LEARN, BUT I DO KNOW, ALZHEIMERS IS NOT PART OF THE AGING PROCESS, MEMORY LOSS IS BUT NOT THIS DISEASE. I WAS TALKING TO A FRIEND IN CHURCH WHEN I SAID IM IN STAGE 2 AND THERE ARE 5 STAGES.SHE SAID THAT WAS NOT TRUE AS SHE HAS ALHEZIMERS AND TAKES GINCO TO HELP HER MEMORY. THERE ARE 2 WAYS TO GET DIAGNOISED, ONE ON AUTOPSY AND THE SECOND A PET SCAN, MY PET SCAN SHOWED, SEVERE HYPO METOBOLIC ATROPHY OF THE BILATERAL TEMPORAL LOBES. I WILL LOSE ALL NEW MEMORIES BUT REMEMBER LONG AGO, I WILL FORGET MY NAME AND JOE'S NAME, I WIL FORGET TO EAT, I WILL APERIATE AND CHOKE, I WILL WANDER,FORGET TO DRESS AND BATH, SO MANY THINGS TILL I WILL BE ONLY A SHELL.
               JOE PROMISES TO ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF ME BUT HE DOES NOT REALIZE WHAT HE IS FACING, SOMEONE WHO WILL CALL HIM NAMES, FIGHT HIM, LASH OUT AT HIM, BECOME VIOLENT AND NEED TO BE RESTRAINED.HE WILL BE SHOWERING ME, FEEDING ME, DRESSING ME, I WILL B GONE.HE HAS STUCK BY ME THROUGH ALL OF THE FOLLOWING, SYSTEMIC LUPUS, FIBROMYALGIA, PRIMARY CLOTTING DISEASE, DIABETES, DEPRESSION, NEUROPATHY, BEING UNABLE TO WALK AT TIMES, CHRONIC DVT, HEART DISEASE, ATHROSCLORISIS,STROKE, NEVER COMPLAINED ONCE AND WE HAVE ONLY BEEN MARRIED 9 YRS. AT FIRST WHEN I LEARNED OF HE LATST DIAGNOISIS, I TOLD HIM I WANTED A DIVORCE, HE CRIED THEN GOT ANGRY, HE SAID IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. I JUST ANT TO BE HIS WIFE BUT CANNOT EVEN MAKE LOVE, WHICH I MISS EVERY MUCH.
             ONE OF THEOTHER FACTS ABOUT THIS ILLNESS IS THE YOUNGER YOU GET IT THE FASTER IT PROGRESSES, BY AGE 60 I WILL BE A SHELL, PARTS OF MY BRAIN WILL BE WALNUT SIZE. THESE WILL ALSO KEEP ME FROM WRITTING MY NAME ECT. PEOPLE DO NOT DIE FROM ALHEZIMERS, THEY DIE FROM PHEUMONIA FROM ASPERATING.
            PLEASE IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO SAYS THERE MEMORY IS GETTING BAD, DO NOT TELL THEM YOU THINK IT IS ALZHEIMERS, TELL THEM TO GET TESTED. I DID NOT GET TESTED AS I THOUGHT IT WAS FIBRO FOG FOR THE LAST 2 YRS. THERE ARE 2 MEDS EXCELON PATCHES WHICH CAN SLOW DOWN THE DISEASE, ALSO ARICEFT WHICH MAKES ME VERY ILL. THERE ARE CLINICAL STUDIES BUT YOU HAVE TO BE HEALTHY FOR THOSE. I HAVE TURNED THIS IVER TO GOD, HE HAS A PLAN AND WILL HEALME ONE DAY, IN THE MEAN TIME I HAVE JOE MY LOVER, MY FRIEND, NOW MY NURSE, HE WILL NEED ALL OF YOU AS HE IS TRYING TO BE STRONG BUT IS FALLING APART ON THE INSIDE. HE HAS HIS OWN ROOM JOESCORENER ON FB.
                   I LOVE YOU ALL, AND I LOVE MY SISTER LORRIE WHO IS FAR AWAY BUT LSTENS WHEN I CALL, MY OTHER SIBLINGS HAVE THERE OWN LIVES AND DO NOT CARE. I HAVE A SON THAT IS IN PRISON FOR COMING TO SEEME LAST YR WITHOUT PERMSSION FROM PROBATION, THEY GAVE HIM 1 1/2 TO 7 FOR VISITING HIS SICK MOM. I ONL PRAY IF HE GETS OUT IN MAY I WILL BE BLE TO GET ENOUGH PEOPLE TO CONTACT HIS PO SO I CSN SEE HIM AND MY GRNDCHILDREN BEFORE I AM LOST FOREVER.
      ALZHEIMERS IS YET ANOTHER UNSEEN ILLNESS WHERE PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE NOT ILL BECAUSE YOU TRY NOT TO LOOK IT. I TRY TO GET DRESSED EVERYDAY I CAN GET OUT OF BED, I TRY TO PUT MAKEUP ON SO I FEEL BETTER, BUT HELL IM SICK, LIKE SO MANY OF US. ALL MY BEAUIFUL FRIENDS, YOU ARE ALL SO PRETTY AND HEALTHY LOOKING, WE NEED TO STOP THE IGNORANCE............
            I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING M BLOG AS IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO TYPE BUT IF IT HELPS ONE PERSON, JUST ONE MY LIFE WILL HVE BEEN FOR NOT.. I LOVE YOU AND WILL POST AS LONG AS ICAN

WELL I FINALLY DID IT

WELL FOLKS I FINALLY CALED THE ALZHEIMERS FOUNDATION OF AMERICA. IT WAS ON OF THE HARDEST CALLS I EVER MADE, TO SAY OUT LOUD I HAVE ALZHEIMERS.IT HURT, BUT I FOUND A SOCIAL WORKER WHO KNEW EXACTLY HOW I FELT. THEY ARE SENDING OUT ALOT OF INFO FOR JOE.
           JOE AS MOST OF YOU KNOW IS MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND NOW CARE GIVER. I HAD TO SIT HIM DOWNAND TELL HOW HE WILL FEEL TAKING CARE OF ME AND I EXPLAINED IT IS ALL NORMAL. IT HURT HIM WHEN I TOLD HIM THERE WOULD BE DAYS WHEN HE WILL GET ANGRY WITH ME, THAT HE WILL HATE ME, WISH I WAS NOT HERE ECT, HE GOT UPSET AND SAID THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN BUT THE SW AGREED WITH ME AND SAID HE NEEDS TO KNOW HE WILL CAN CAN FEEL THIS WAY WITHOUT  FEELING GUILTY.
            NOW I CANNOT THINK OF JOE HAVING THESE FEELINGS BUT I HAVE BEENA CAREGIVER TO A LOVED ONE AND THE FEELINGS ARE REAL.
            I HAVE ACCEPTED JOE'S DENIAL FOR NOW, I SEE THE LOVE IN HIS EYES, I CAN FEL IT IN HIS HUGS, BUT I ALSO SEE FEAR AS HE TALKS ME THROUGH A SEZIURE........
           AS FOR ME, I NOTICE I AM FORGETTING MORE THINGS,TRYING TO COOK HAS BECOME A CHORE, TURNING THE WASHER AND DRYER ON ALSO. I DO NOT LIKE TO GET DRESSED I WOULD RATHER STAY IN MY PJ'S WITH A BLANKET THROWN OVER MY HEAD, NOT LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, WONDERING WHERE AM I GOING TO GO IN MY MIND. I KNOW I WILL NOT FORGET THE PAST SO I AM TOLD AND IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE DIFFERENT FROM OTHER TYPES OF DEMENTIA, BUT I CANNOT LET GO OF THIS FEAR. I WANT MY FAMILY, I WANT MY SON, GRANCHILDREN ECT. THE DEPRESSION IS GETTING WORSE, THE MEDS NOT WORKING, THE ANTI ANXIETY PILLS WERE INCREASED THEY HELP. I ALSO GET SEASONAL DEPRESSON WHICH DOES NOT HELP. I DID DECIDE TO STAY IN FLORIDA WITH MY CHURCH FAMLY AND FRIENDS, BEING CLOSE TO JESUS HELPS FOR IF I WERE NOT SAVED AND NOT HAVE THE LOVE OF JOE, I CAN SAY FOR SURE, I WOULD NOT SUFFER ANY LONGER, I HAVE DEALT WITH THE LUPUS AND ALL THE OTHER DISEASE BUT I NEVER WANTED TO LIVE IF MY BRAINWAS DAMAGED, SO I PRAISE GOD FOR SENDING ME THE HOLY SPIRT TO ME, FOR IF JESUS DID NOT LIVE IN MY HEART, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS,JESUS WILL TAKE ME AND HEAL ME WHEN HE IS READY, FOR NOW I WILL DEPEND ON THE LOVE OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND HAVING THE COMFORT THAT I KNOW I AM NEVER ALONE............

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE !!

FIRST OFF, YOU WILL ALLHAVE TO FORGIVE ME FOR THE POOR TYPING. MY MIND DOES NOT WORK LIKE MY HANDS ANYMORE AND IT,COMES OUT BACKWARDS OR DROPS A SENTANCE ECT.
           YOU KNOW YOU GET PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE, MOST OF THETIME YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON,THE PEOPLE I  VALUE THE MOST BESIDES MY SISTER LORRIE IS MY SISTERS I HAVE MET ON FACEBOOK.WHY DID GOD PUT YOU ALL IN MY LIFE?HOW DID HE FIND SUCH A GROUP OF STRONG WOMAN, EVERYONE AS ILL AS MYSELF TO OFFER UP LOVE AND PRAYERS AND TAKE THE TIME TO LET YOU KNOW THEY ARE HERE FOR YOU.IT FILLS MY HEART WITH WARMTH AND JOY. THE FIRST THING I DO WHEN I AWAKE IS TO GET MY COFFEE AND GO TO MY FACEBOOK TO SEE MY FAMILY, TO SEE HOW YOU ALL ARE, TO SEE WHO NEEDS EXTRA PRAYERS. HOWBLESSED I AM TO HAVE ALL OF YOU,I WILL NEVER KNOW GOD'S PLAN FOR ME, BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE GREATFUL.
                    NOW GETTING TO THIS ALHEZIMERS THING, I AM GETTING MORE AFRAID EVERYDAY, I HAVE READ ALL THE MATERIAL FROM THE MAYO CLINIC AND THE EARLIER YOU GET IT THE FASTER IT PROGRESSES. I AM ON MEDS FOR IT, MY DOORS NOW HAVE ALARMS INCASE I GO OUT AT NIGHT, I WEAR A PAL ALERT BUTTON WHICH HAS A GPS ON IT, SO IN THAT WAY IM COVERED, BUT IM SCARED, I KNOW I WILL NEVER BE ALONE AS I HAVE MY HUSBAND JOE, WHO BESIDES LOVE I SEE FEAR IN HIS EYES. I HAVE MY SISTER LORRIE AND I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY SON AND HIS FAMILY, BUT WHEN WILL I BE GONE? WHEN WILL I FORGET THE LOVE I ONCE KNEW?I CRY THEN I GET A MIGRAINE, I KNOW YOU KNOW HOWTHAT GOES. I HAVE DEALT WITH ILLNESS ALL MY LIFE, BUT HAVE ALWAYS BEEN GREATFUL MY BRAIN HAS NEVER BEEN PERMENTLY AFFECTED, EVEN WHEN I HAD MY STROKE. BUT NOW MY BRAIN IS ATROPHYING, SHRINKING AWAY. I DO NOT WANT TO SHRINK AWAY, I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING, PRAYED, BARGINED, PLEADED, DENIED, BUT IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY FUTURE, I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW, YOU ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME, AND ARE LOVED FOREVER, YOU ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THESE MONTHS OF TEARS, LAUGHTER AND JOY THAT YOU HAVE EACH BROUGHT INTO MY LIFE, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANOTHER DAY OR IS IT?

HELLO FOLKS, SORRY I HAVE NOT KEPT UP WITH MY BLOG AS I DO  DO KNOW SOME OF YOU DO CARE.
     THIS HAD BEEN A WEIRD WEEK, FIRST FB GAVE ME A VIRUS 100.00 LATER MY DOG GETS SICK, SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. SHE WAS SO INFESTED WITH FLEAS, AFTER ALL THE MONEY WE SPENT ON FROUNTLINE, ECT, DIPS, COLLARS, NONE OF THEM WORK. DR GAVE HER ONE PILL A MONTH, WITHIN 6 HRS HE HAD NOT ONE FLEA, AMAZING, WE DICHINTOT SCRAD THE RUGS AND GOT HER A NEW BED, HER FUR SINCE SHULD GROW BACK SINCE SHE IS NOT SCRATCHING. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH MY TYPING I KEEP MESSING UP AND HSVE TO DELETE, COPY AND PASTE ALL THE TIME.,             WELL STILL CANT SEE NEURO TILL THE 13 OF DEC, AM HA VING SEZIURES DO NOT KNOW WHY THEY CAN START WITH ME FEELING FUZZY OR CAN START IN MY SLEEP, JOE SAID IT IS WORSE THEN, MY WHOLE BODY  GOES NUTS. PROMISED I WILL GO TO THE HOSP NEXT TIME I T HAPPENS.
               WELL IT HAS BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW AND I CANT GRASP THE FACT THAT MY BRAIN IS DYING I FIGHT TO REMEMBER THINGS.WHEN WILL I BE GONE,? WILL I JUST WAKE UP ONE DAY AND FIND I DO NOT KNOW JOE? OR MY FRIENDS OR WHO I AM? THEY SAY IS YOU GET IT BEFORE AGE 65 IT PROGRESSS FASTER. JOE GOT ME A PAL BUTTON FOR MY NECK WITH THE WHOLE ALARM SYSTEM IT IS A REALLY GOOD ONE, YOU CAN PUSH IT FOR ANY REASON LIKE BEING STUCK ON A STEP LADDER, SOMEONE DONT KNOW AT THE DOOR, ,   THEY WILL LISTEN TILL YOU TELL THEM IT IS OK,  CAN PUSH IT AS OFTEN AS NEEDED NO CHARGE, JOE ALSO ALARMED THE DOORS SO I CANNOT GO OUT AND WANDER AT NIGHT, ONCE HE GOES TO BED HE SETS THE ALARM. I FEEL LIKE A PRISIONER OR A CHILD, IM SCARED ALL THE MY TYPING KEEPS MESSING UP, COMING OUT BACKWARDS AND SUCH. I AM SO OVERWELMED. I PRAY AND PRAY, STARTED GOING BACK TO BIBLE SUDY , DOING ALL I CAN BUTT NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING. PLEASE LET ME SEE MY SON AND FAMILY, LET MY MEMORIES STAY, I CAN TAKE ALL THIS PAIN I HAVE BEEN IVEN, ALL THIS DISEASE BUT NOT THIS, NOT MY BRAIN, CANT TYPE TODAY WILL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW, LOVE YOU ALL........... SORRY

I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE

IM SCARED AS HELL, . YES MY LOVE JOE IS HERE  BUT THIS IS KILLING HIM ALSO. I AM SO ANGRY I WANT TO SCREAM, CRY, ALL OF THAT BUT MOSTLY IM TIRED OF IT ALL. I WANT ME BACK ........WHERE HAVE I GONE, CSNT EVEN TYPE ANYMORE, MY ONLY CONNECTION TO MY FRIENDS AND I CANT DO IT, I JUST WANT TO SLEEP...........SORRY REALLY BAD BAD DAY AND I WANT IT TO END .............

My Journey through Alhezimers: WELL HAVE MY COMPUTER BACK

My Journey through Alhezimers: WELL HAVE MY COMPUTER BACK: WELL AFTER NOT BLOGGING FOR AFEW DAYS, IM AT ALOSS FOR WORDS. I VISITED WITH AN OLD FRIEND I HAVE NOT SEEN IN 25EARS, IT WAS GREAT ALOT OF M...

WELL HAVE MY COMPUTER BACK

WELL AFTER NOT BLOGGING FOR AFEW DAYS, IM AT ALOSS FOR WORDS. I VISITED WITH AN OLD FRIEND I HAVE NOT SEEN IN 25EARS, IT WAS GREAT ALOT OF MEMORIES, BUT I HAD A HARD TIME MEKING DINNER.
              JOE IS STILL IN DENIAL, HE KEEPS SAYING YOU WILL BE FINE. I DID WHAT I SAID I WOULD NOT DO AND LOOKED UP TJE DISEASE ON THE MAYO CLINIC SITE. IT SAID PEOPLE WHOGET IT UNDER AGE 65 THE SYMPTONS COME ALONG FASTER. SO NOW I MSCARED REALLY SCARED, THEY SAY THEPT WILL NOT NOTICE NOR REMEMBER BUT FAMILY ANDFRIENDS WILL. I CANT WRITE TO MUCH TODAY AS ICANNOT STOP CRYING, HOWCAN YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE NOT KNOWINGG WHEN YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG OR STUPID. I THINK I WILL TAKE A SHOWER THEN CHECK IN WITH MY FB SISTERSAND BROTHERS.............JOE, MY CHURCH , MY ONE SISTER LORRIE, THE OTHER SIBLINGSONT CAREAND ALL OF YOU..............I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH AND DO NOT WANT TO LOSE YOU

MY SATURDAY OFF............

TODAY I DECIDED TO TAKE THE DAY OF FROM MY USUAL HUM DRUM DSAY. TODAY I AM GETTING READY TO SHOWER AND GO BACK TO BED. WE DO OUR SHOPPING ON SATS, THEN CHURCH ON SUNDSYS BUT THIS WEEKEND WE ARE SPENDING IT TOEGHTER AND WORKING IN THE YARD.
        NOW FOR MY SYMPTONS, I REALLY BELIEVE THE ARICEFT WAS MAKING ME SICK, AND NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT WAS MAKING ME WEAKER. NOW I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS IS A SYMPTON OF ALHEZMEIRS OR THE ARICEFT BUT I HAVE HAD 4 SEZIURES NOW. THREE OF THESE I WAS ALERT AND MY ARMS TREMBLED OUT OF CONTROL, I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST TREMORS BUT IF YOU HAVE TREMORS, WHEN YOU HOLD THE ARM OR WHATEVER IT WILL STOP THESE DONT AND LAST 2 OR 3 MINUTES. .LAST NIGHT I WAS SLEEPING AND APPARENTLY HAD A FULL SEZIURE, JOE SAID IT WAS MY WHOLE BODY, MY LEGS GOT STIFF BUT MY ARMS WERE TREMBLING AND FLAILING, HE HAD TO TRY TO WAKE ME, I FINALLY CAME OUT OF IT ,AGAIN IT LASTED A COUPLE OF MINUTES.NOW I STOPPED THE ARICEFT 4 DAYS AGO AND WENT BACK TO THE EXCELON PATCH, THIS IS HELPING MY GASTO TRACT, BUT I BELIEVE THE SEZIURES ARE FROM THE ARICEFT AND EHAT IS LEFT IN MY BODY. DOES ANYONE KNOW IF SEZIURES ARE PART OF ALHEZIMERS? I STILL HAVE THE SWALLOWING PROBLEM, HAVE HAD IT FOR A YR LIKE MOST OF THE SYMPTONS, BUT IT IS HETTING WORSE, BE IT LIQUID OR FOOD. I JUST HOPE I DO NOT CHOKE WHEN JOE IS NOT HOME, BUT ON THE 1 ST I WILL HAVE AN ALERT BUTTON, SO I WILL FEEL AT EASE.
        MY MEMORY IS STILL THE SAME, I FORGET RECENT HINGS, STILL TALK TO MYSELF, MY GAIT IS ALITTLE OFF OR STIFF, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO WORRY AS IT IS IN GOD'S HANDS, HE WILL HEAL ME OR CURE ME BUT EITHER WAY, JESUS WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT. YESI HAVE HEARD, GOD IS PUNISHING YOU FOR YOUR PAST LOL YOU CAN TELL THE PEOPLE THAT SAY THIS DO NOT KNOW JESUS, OTHERWISE THEY WOULD KNOW, JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS, GOD SENT HIS ONLY SON TO DEATH FOR OUR SINS, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE. THIS DOES NOT MEAN GO SIN AND BE AN ASS AND YOU WIL BE FORGIVEN, IT MEANS IT WAS SUCH A GREAT SACRAFICE, THAT WE NEED TO HONOR IT AND TRY NOT TO SIN.
     WELL I AM HOPING TONIGHT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A WONDEFUL NIGHT WITH JOE. I WANT TO BE HIS WIFE TONIGHT, CUDDLE AND WATCH A MOVIE, I AM PRAYING THAT I WILL HAVE NO ACCIDENTS TODAY AND TONIGHT MAYBE WE CASN HAVE SOME INTIMACY. THE PAIN GETS SO BAD, IT FRIGHTENS ME BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS. HE IS WONDERFUL TO ME AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I AM TOO YOUNG TO GIVE UP THAT PART OF MY LIFE SO GOING TO REST AND RELAX TONIGHT AND TRY TO NOT FRET OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN.
             I PRAY THAT I DO NOT BORE YOU WITH THIS BLOG, IT IS HELPFUL FOR ME, WILL LET PEOPLE READ HOW MY ILLNESS PROGRESSES, AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDSCAN LOOK BACK AT IT ONE DAY. TOMORROW I AM GOING TO TRY TO DO A VIDEO TO POST TO SASY HI TO YOU ALL AND LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE TRUELY LOVED, MY FAMILY, FRIENDS AND ALL OF YOU THE STRANGERS THAT I HAVE MET THAT HAVE CARED AND PRAYED FOR ME MORE THAN MOST OF MY SO CALLED CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY............. OK GOING TO CRY SO THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO END TODAY..........

A NEW DAY?

donnalynnmorin55@aol.com
GOODMORNING EVERYONE,
    WELL I DID ALOT OF THINKING YESTERDAY AND DECIDED I WOULD TRY TO DO SOME THINGS. I PUTTERED AROUND THE HOUSE, THEN GOT BORED THE REST OF THIS BLOG IS HOW I SPENT MY DAY, FUNNY AND SAD BUT EVERY WORD I WRITE IS TRUE, THESE ARE MY FEELING, NOT THE THOUGHTS OR OPIONS OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK I SHOULD WRITE.
            YESTERDAY WAS LIKE ANY OTHER, KEEP CHANGING CLOTHES ECT DECIDED TO STAY IN MY BATHING SUIT LOL. I AM HAVING SOME GASTRO RELIEF FROM GOING BACK ON THE EXCELON PATCHES AND NOT THE ARICEFT. ALOT LESS ACCIDENTS AND ALOT LESS LAUNDRY. SO I GOT ADVENTEROUS AND DECIDED SINCE I WAS NOT FAMILUAL WITH THE PARK I LIVE IN I WOULD GO FOR A RIDE INCASE I EVER GOT LOST, WELL HOW STUPID DOES THAT SOUND? I GOT ON MY SCOOTER AND WENT UP AND DOWN STREETS AVOIDING THE EXIT TO THE STATE ROAD LOL. WELL AFTER A HALF HOUR I COULD NOT FIND MY WAY HOME. I DID FIND  A LADY THAT KNEW ME ON HER BIKE AND SHE SAID FOLLOW ME, SO I MADE IT HOME. I THEN WENT TO THE POOL TO TRY TO EXCERSIZE AND SEE THE BIG GATOR WE HAVE IN THE POND, SO I BROUGHT MY CAMERA, HE ONLY POPPED UP ONCE AND I MISSED THE SHOT. I SWIM WITH A FLOTTIE FOR ABIT, THEN CAME HOME AND NAPPED.
                LATER ON I WAS TALKING TO MY SISTER, YOU WILL HEAR ME REFER TO HER OFTEN, HER NAME IS LORRIE, ALTHOUGH I HAVE MANY SIBLINGS LORRIE IS MY LIFELINE AS EVERYONE HAS THERE OWN LIVES AND FAMILES I DO NOT GET TO TALK TO THEM MUCH. MY BABY SISTER, WHO I PRACTICALLY RAISED DECIDED 7 YRS AGO I WAS NOT HER SISTER ANYMORE, TO THIS DAY MY HEART IS BROKEN BUT IM DONE CARING. I NEED TO LIVE MY LIFE AND AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED SHE IS MISSING THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE, THE PERSON I HAVE BECOME. THE CHRISTIAN I HAVE BECOME, THE NON ADDICT I HAVE BECOME. YES I WAS AN ADDICT HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR OVER 15 YRS, I STILL ATTEND CELEBRATE RECOVERY TWICE A WEEK AT OUR CHURCH, SO I CAN WALK CLOSER TO JESUS AND HOPEFULLY HELP SOMEONE WITH ADDICATIONS, PAST HURTS AND HANG UPS, IT IS NOT JUST FOR ADDICTS OF DRUGS NAD ALCOHOL IT IS FOR ABUSED PEOPLE WHO CANT LET THE PAST GO, OVER OR UNDER ESTERS, PORN ADDICTS YOU NAME IT, ALL CAN BE HEALED THROUGH JESUS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR.
I CAN STILL HELP PEPLE AFTER SUFFERING 10 YRS OF SEXUAL ABUSE AND TORTURE. I HAD TO LET GO LET GOD AND STAY AWAY FROM FEELING NUMBBING DRUGS. I CAN BE OF HELP TO JUST ONE PERSON THEN MY LIFE IS FOR NOT.
                WELL BACK TO LORRIE, SHE SAID VERY STERNLY THST SHE DID NOT WANT TO HEAR, WHEN I CAN'T, WHEN I WON'T, ALL OF THAT NEGIITIVE STUFF THAT IS IN MY FUTURE. SHE REMINDED ME THAT WE ONLY HAVE TODAY AND WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW IS NOT IN OUR CONTROL. SHE REMINDED ME OF THE LOVE I HAVE FROM JOE, MY SON AND HIS FAMILY, MY CHURCH AND ALL MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS ON FACEBOOK AND THOSE WHO FOLLOW MY BLOG. SHE SSID I WAS IN THE BEST PLACE WHER I HAD THE MOST SUPPORT, THE MOST LOVE. WHEN THINGS GET WORSE THEY WILL PEROID. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO AND I AM NOT A FORTUNE TELLER SO I CANT TELL WHEN I AM GOING TO GET WORSE. I WISH I KNEW TO PLAN, BUT THEN I DONT KNOW DO I, DO ANY OF US KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING. AS OF NOW I TALK TO MYSELF, I REPEAT MYSELF ALL THE TIME, MY MIND FORGETS ALOT OF THINGS BUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY OR YESTERDAY , MAYBE THE DAY BEFORE BUT I CAN REMEBER ALL OF THE PAST. I DO NOT REMEBER WHAT DAY IT IS, WHAT IME IT IS, BUT I REMEMBER THE LOVE, WHEN JOE REMINDS ME IT IS MED TIME, BEDTIME, LOKS AT ME WITH SUCH LOVE. HE STILL DESIRES ME SO MUCH BUT IS SO PATIENT WITH ME.HE GENTLY REMINDS ME HAT HE HAS ALREADY TOLD ME SOMETHING 3 TIMES OR THAT I HAVE SAID SOMETHING 10 TIMES. HE DOES THIS WITH LOVE.WE SAY GRACE EVERYNIGHT AND WE PRAY FOR OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND THANK JESUS FOR ANOTHER DAY, TODSY, YES JUST TODAY IS ALL WE ARE SURE OF, THERE ARE NO PROMISES OF TOMORROW, SO I WILL LIVE FOR TODAY AND SOMETIMES IN MY CASE I WILL LIVE FOR THE MOMENT AND STROE IT IN MY BRAIN AND TRY TO REMEMBER IT ALWAYS.
      SO I HAVE MENTIONED MOST OF THE SYMPTONS, I WAKE UP ALOT AT NIGHT BUT THIS IS DUE TO THE MEDS. I HAVE HAD A COUPLE OF SEZIURES BUT I AM AWARE WHEN THEY HAPPEN THEY ARE NOT SEVERE AND THEY LAST A FEW MOMENTS. THE ONLY THING THAT SCARES ME IS MY SWOLLING REFLEX, I TAKE A BITE OF FOOD OR DRINK SOMETHING AND CANT SWALLOW IT, I JUST STAND THERE TELLING MYSELF TO SWALLOW ONE OF TWO THINGS HAPPEN EITHER I ASPERICATE OR HAVE TO SPIT IT OUT. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR MONTHS AND IS GETTING A LITTLE WORSE. I CAN STILL MATCH MY CLOTHES, PUT MY MAKEUP ON, BUT HAVE FEARS OF SHOWERING WHEN JOE IS NOT HOME SO I WAIT FOR HIM.......... I AM SURE THERE IS MORE T OCOME BUT I WILL NOT WORRY ABOUT IT, TODAY IS MY CONCERN AND I PRAY IT IS A GOOD ONE FOR ME AND FOR ALL OF YOU...............
         

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY BODY??

 THEY SAY 50 IS THE NEW 30 BUT THEY LIE. IT DOES NOT FIT PEOPLE LIKE US WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND ILLNESS.AS MOST OF YOU KNOW I HAVE 23 DIFFERENT ILLNESSES. I KNOW ATLEAST 4 OF THEM CAN KIL ME , MY PRIMARY CLOTTING PROBLEM CN KILL ME AT ANYTIME, IT IS LIKE  HOLDING A TIME BOMB. BUT WITH MY FAITH IN JESUS AND THE PRAYERS FROM ALL OF YOU MY FRIENDS WHO CARE ENOUGH TO READ THIS, I HAVE MADE IT THROUGH.
                HAVING JOE IN MY LIFE THESE 9 YEARS HAS BEEN INCREDIBLE, HE KISSES ME AWAKE EVERY MORNING AND SAYSS "GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL".
     I USED TO FEEL THAT WAY, I USED TO GO TO BED TRYING TO LOOK ATTRACTIVE, PRETTY NIGHTIES, ALWAYS SATIN, ALWAYS FELT SO GOOD AGAINST MY SKIN.
   NOW  IT IS PJ'S AND NOT ONLY PJ'S BUT DUE TO I THINK THE MEDICINE FOR THE ALHEZIMERS, I HAVE TO WAER BOTH PJ'S , UNDERWEAR AND DEPENDS TO BED, WHEN JOE REACHES FOR ME IN THE NIGHT, I HAVE TO PUSH HIM AWAY. I HATE THIS, I HATE THE FACT THAT MY BODY FEELS 80. I HATE THE FACT THAT MAKING LOVE HAS BECME A CHORE. I HATE THE FACT THAT I CANNOT ENJOY HAVING DINNER WITH JOE WHEN HE COMES HOME FROM WORK AS I NEVER KNOW WHAT I CAN EAT THAT WON'T RUN OUT MY BODY.I MISS THE DAYS OF HOLDING EACHOTHER, HAVING DINNER TOEGHTER, LONG RIDES WHEN YOU DONT HAVE TO STOP EVER 15 MINUTES. WHERE IS MY BODY, IT WAS NOT PERFECT, I AM NOT BEAUTY QUEEN BUT I DO TRY TO LOOK MY BEST, BUT THINGS ARE GETTING OUT OF MY CONTROL. THIS NEW DIAGNOISIS IS KILLING ME, I DO NOT KNOW IF I HAVE THE FIGHT. I KNOW I HAVE FAITH , BUT THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE GOME THROUGH. TO KNOW I CASN REMEBER YOU ONE DAY, ENJOY A CONVERSATION THEN NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING THE NEXT DAY IS KILLING ME. WHERE AM I GOING WHEN I GO INTO MY MIND AND CSNNOT EXPRESS MSLEF, HOW CAN I ASK JOE TO HOLD ME ,COMFORT ME WHEN I DO NOT KNOW HIM.
             WHERE ARE THE DSYS OF COOL SATIN ON MY SKIN, MAKING LOVE WHEN EVER YOU WANT WITHOUT PAIN OR TEARS OR WORSE YET EMBARESSMENT. I WANT ME BACK. I HAVE JOE, ONE SISTER WHO STAND BY ME NO MATTER WHAT, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I HAVE FRIENDS, FRINDS I HAVE NEVER MET AND WHO HAVE BROUGHT SUCH JOY INTO MY LIFE. FILLED MY DAY WITH PRSYERS , LAUGHS ND TEARS, I JUST WANT ME BACK, I WILL TAKE ALL satan  CAN THROW AT ME, BUT PLEASE DONT TAKE MY MIND LONG WITH MY BODY,

HOW DO YOU FEEL LIKE A WOMAN, PG RATED

WELL I DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO START. TODAY STARTED OUT BAD AT 4 AM. I REMEMBER THE DAYS WHEN JOE AND I FIRST GOT MARRIED, I TOLD HIM I WAS VERY SICK AND COULD VERY WELL DIE ON HIM. I WAS A WIDOW AN DHAPPY TO BE LONE. WELL JOE SURPRISED ME AN DFLEW TO CA TO PROPOSE ON CHRISTMAS EVE. THAT WAS 9 YRS SGO. SINCE THEN I HAVE HAD 24 HOSPITILAZIONS. ALMOST DIED 3 TIMES.

PLEASE JESUS, LET ME HAVE PATIENCE!!

WELL YESTERDAY WAS THE DAY, I WAS FINALLY GOING TO SEE THE NEUROLOGIST! SO EXCITED, JOE HELPED ME DRESS, I CHANGED MY CLOTHES 3 TIMES, AS I DID MY HAIR AND MAKE UP I WAS SO HAPPY EVEN THOUGH IT WAS GOING TO BE A LONG PAINFUL DRIVE.
     JOE FOUND THE PLACE ALRIGHT, IT SAID NEUROLOGICAL AND SLEEP CENTER OF OCALA, THAT WAS THE ONLY DR MEDCIAD SAID THEY WOULD PAY FOR. I REALLY WANTED HIS IMPUT AS TO THE STATUS OF MY ALHEZIMERS. I FILLED OUT PAGES UPON PAGES OF PAPERWORK THEN WAS LED TO  HIS OFFICE, WE SAT, ME FREEZING FOR OVER AN HOUR WAITING, AS I SAT THERE I LOOKED AROUND HIS OFFICE, YUP IM NOSEY LOL. THERE WAS BOOKLETS ON SLEEP DISORDERS, SNORING ECT, NOT ONE THING ON THE BRAIN, THINKING THIS WAS ODD I WAITED.
       WELL HE CAME IN, SEEMED ABRUPT AND ASKED WHY I WAS THERE, I STATED YOU HAVE THE REPORT, I HAVE ALHEZIMERS DISEASE. HE LOOKED THROUGH THE PAPERS AND THE REPORT IN 2 SECONDS, I WANTED HIM TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE NUMBER MEANT ON THE SCALE ECT, WHAT STAGE I WAS IN AND WHAT THE WORD SEVERE ON MY REPORT MEANT IN RELATION TO ME. I TOLD HIM SOME OF MY SYMPTONS THAT I HAD BEEN HAVING FOR OVER A YEAR, SO OK NEXT QUESTION, STANDARD QUESTION REMEMBER THESE 3 THINGS. SO OK I LISTENED,
 WELL THEN HE WENT ON TO SAY HE DID NOT BELIEVE I HAD ALZHEIMER'S, HE SAID IT WAS OBVIOUS FROM MY MEDS THAT I SUFFERED FROM CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME, WELL NO SHIT ................ OK BP RISING, CALM DOWN, TAKE A BREATH THEN LISTEN, NEXT THING OUT OF HIS MOUTH WAS I THINK THE REPORT IS CRAP OR MISREAD, MIND YOU HE LOOKED AT IT FOR 2.3 SECONDS.OK ,NOW I AM FUMING, MY HUSBAND REACHED OVER TO HOLD MY HAND AS I FEAR HE THOUGHT THE DR WAS GOING TO GET SMACKED,THEN HE SAID HE WANTED A SPEEP STUDY, NOW WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING( YES I WAS GETTING ANGRY VERY ANGRY) THE BEST IS YET TO COME.
           OK SO WE AGREED TO THE SLEEP STUDY, HE SAID HE COULD DO IT FRI NIGHT. SO THEN, OH THIS IS MAKING MY BP RISE LOL, HE  I WENT TO ASK HIM SO QUESTIONS HE SAID HURRY UP I NEED TO LEAVE, WELL OK I SAT HERE FOR AN HOUR WAITING ON YOU. OK DONNA LET IT GO, HE SAID  I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU HAVE ALHEZMIERS, LOOK AT YOU, THE WAY YOU DRESSED AND LOOK, YOU SPEAK TOO CLEARLY AND KNOW TO MANY MEDICAL TERMS SO YOU CANNOT HAVE ALHEZIMERS. HE THEN LEFT THE ROOM GAVE ME SOME SAMPLES OF PILLS AND THREW ME A BOOK ABOUT ALHEZIMERS.I MADE THE APPOINTMENT FOR FRI NIGHT AND WE LEFT.
              ASI  WALKED TO THE CAR I STARTED BALLING, ALL THIS EXCITMENT, FELT I HAD BEEN HIT BY A TRUCK. I GOT IN THE CAR AND CALLED THE OFFICE RIGHT BACK AND SAID I DO NOT WANT THE SLEEP STUDY, THEY SAID WHY, I SAID"THE DR IS A RUDE .ARROGANT BASTARD"
YES I SAID THIS AND HUNG UP. I THEN OPENED THE BAG WITH THE SAMPLES, ONE THAT HE SAID TO CONTINUE MY ALHEZIMERS MEDS WITH AND TOW THAT MY INSURANCE WOULD NOT PAY FOR SO HE WOULD DO ME A FAVOR AND GIVE ME A 30 DAY SUPPLY.     WELL I OPENED THIS PAMPLET THAT WAS IN THE BOX AND READ USES AND CONTRADICTIONS, WELL IT SAID IT NOT MADE FOR AND IS A DANGER TO GIVE TO ALHEZIMERS PTS. IT WAS MADE FOR ALS AND MS, OK NOW IM FUMING, CRYING, SWEARING , YOU NAME IT, JOE IS TRYING TO DRIVE, CALM ME DOWN AND BE GENTLE WITH ME.... NOW THE BEST PART
            I LOOKED AT THE PAPER WORK, AND THE PERSCRIPTION HE GAVE ME INCASE INSURANCE WOULD COVER THE MEDICINE THAT COULD KILL ME LOL AND HE WAS A DO, HE WAS NOT A NEUROLOGIST, HE WAS A CHIROPRACTOR, AN OSTEOPATH,YOU KNOW THE ONES WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN PAIN OR PAIN MEDS, THE ONES WHO DO NOT BELIEVE IN AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE OR FIBROMYALGIA, THE ONES THAT THINK IF THEY TWEEK YOUR NECK YOUR BOWELS WILL WORK BETTER......... OH HAVE SEVERAL PHONE CALLS TO MAKE TODAY, FIRST TO MEDICAID AND SECOND TO THE DR WHO LEAD ME TO BELIEVE HE WAS A NEUROLOGIST.
               NOW PLEASE, D.O WORK FOR SOME PEOPLE, I KNOW MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD BACK OR NECK PAIN THAT SWEAR BY THERE CHIROPRACTOR, BUT DUE TO THE FACT THAT MY CLOTHES MATCHED, MY MAKEUP WAS ON, AND I WAS WELL VERSED MEDICALLY, THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, YET ANOTHER DOWNFALL OF UNSEEN ILLNESS..................

TWO WEEKS TO THE DAY!

WELL TODAY DIDENT START TOO BAD. I GOT UP AT 5 30 AM AS IM ON SO MANY PILLS I HAVE ALL WEIRD HOURS TO TAKE THEM. THE MED FOR THE ALHEIZMERS MAKES YOU NOT SLEEP WELL, EVEN WITH A SLEEPING PILL.
    I HAD AN EYE APPOINTMENT SO I WENT THERE WITH ALL THE NESUA THAT COMES WITH THE ARICEFT. WHEN I CAME HOME I MADE A CUP OF SOUP AND THEN CHSNGED ONLY TO REALIZE I HAD BEEN INCONTINANT AGAIN. THIS IS NEW THE PAST 2 MONTHS, I TRIED ALL THE DIFFERENT PADS AND FINALLY BROKE DOWN AND BOUGHT DEPENDS, YOU KNOW THE ONES YOU CANT TELL YOUR WEARING, WELL THEY LIE, THEY HANG FROM YOUR HIPS AND PULL UP TO YOUR BOOBS, SO I TRASHED THAT 20.00 DOLLARS.
       I CANT EAT ANYTHING AS EVERYTHING JUST PASSES THROUGH ME,WEIGHT LOSS 2 LBS , I SHOULD LOSE 100 AT THIS RATE.I MADE A CUP OF SOUP AND WENT TO LAY DOWN ONLY TO MAKE 5 MORE TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM. WITH ALL THE ILLNESS I HAVE THIS ONE IS THE MOSY HUMILIATING AS YOU CANT HIDE IT, MY SPEECH FAILS ME, MY MIND FORGETS THINGS, I HAD YET ANOTHER SEZIURE AN HOUR AGO, JOE HAD TO HOLD MY ARMS DOWN.
            I SEE NEURO TOMORROW , WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO THERE IS NO CURE ONLY THESE MEDS TO SLOW IT DOWN.
           THIS IS THE SADDEST I HAVE BEEN, I TRY TO LIVE FOR TODAY, I PRAY FOR TODAY AND I GIVE PRAISE EVERYNIGHT FOR MY DAY, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I HAD ANOTHER DAY.
            I NEED TO LIVE FOR TODAY, BUT ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU THEY CAN LIVE FOR THE MOMENT OR THE DAY AND NOT THINK ABOUT TOMORROW IS JUST PLAIN LYING, WE ALL PLAN OUR NEXT DAY, OR NEXT NIGHT. I STILL WANT TO BELIEVE I WILL SEE MY GRANDKIDS GROW UP AND REMEMBER THEM DOING SO. I WANT TO BE AT THEIR WEDDINGS, HAVE GREATGRANDKIDS AND REMEMBER THEM. MY DISEASE WONT KILL ME THIS I KNOW, AND ONE OF MY OTHER ONES WILL, I WISH I COULD SHAKE THE FEELING THAT JESUS JUST HEALS SOMETIMES BY BRINGING YOU HOME. IM NOT READY BUT WHAT I WILL DO IS FIGHT, AND DHARE THIS HORRIBLE, HUMILIATING DISEASE.........
              I WILL LOVE MY HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL SEE ME IN HIS EYES NOT SADNESS, I WILL HIDE MY TEARS AND SEEK JOY IN THIS LIFE AND I WILL ALWAYS TRY TO REMEMBER JESUS IS WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT

My Journey through Alzheimers..

My Journey through Alzheimer's
             WELL FIRST OFF PLEASE FORGIVE MY CAPS, TILL I GET THE DRAGON SOUND SYSTEM INSTALLED THIS WILL BE EASIER.
               HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHEN YOU GO TO THE DRS AND JUST SHRUG AT ONE MORE ILLNESS. I HAVE, I HAVE A TOTAL OF 23 DIFFERENT DISEASES, MOST SEPARATE FROM MY LUPUS OR FIBRO. THE OTHER WORSE ONES ARE DIABETES, 2 PRIMARY CLOTTING DISEASES AND ATHEROSCLEROSIS.THESE I HAVE TRIED TO LIVE WITH, DEAL WITH, ACCEPT AND PRAY FOR. I HAVE MET SO MANY WONDERFUL FRIENDS THROUGH MY GROUPS AT FACEBOOK, THE LOVE AND SUPPORT FROM THERE IS INCREDIBLE. I DO NOT KNOW HOW MY DAILY LIFE WOULD GO ONE WITHOUT THEM. I KNOW PEOPLE SAY HOW CAN YOU CALL PEOPLE YOU NEVER EVEN MET, YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS, WELL I CAN BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND, THEY FEEL THE PAIN AND FRUSTRATION AND THEY LISTEN.... THEY PRAY FOR YOU AND THEY REALLY CARE.
           I HAVE SEVERAL SIBLINGS, I LOST ONE SISTER ALMOST 2 YRS AGO BUT MY PRIMARY SUPPORT FAMILY WISE, BESIDES MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND JOE IS MY SISTER LORRIE, ALTHOUGH WE NEVER GOT ALONG GROWING UP, I WAS THE ELDEST OF SEVEN, SHE HAS BECOME MY BEST FRIEND, MY MENTOR, MY MOTHER AND MY WORLD. HER LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL AND SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME ALL THROUGH HER OWN ILLNESS AND SUFFERING.
            NOW TO MY BLOG, I WANTED TO START THIS WHILE MY MIND IS STILL FAIRLY CLEAR AND I WILL TRY TO POST EACH DAY...
             
HAVING LUPUS AND FIBRO, ALONG WITH ALL THE PAIN AND SPENDING DAYS IN BED, I WAS FORGETTING THINGS, LITLE THINGS LIKE WHY I WALKED INTO A ROOM, WHAT I WAS DOING 5 MINUTES BEFORE, PHONE CALLS, RECIPES ECT. I ALWAYS SAID AS I LAUGHED IT IS FIBRO FOG, JOE USED TO SAY THE SAME THING " I KNOW HONEY IT IS THE FIBRO FOG". WELL THIS WENT ON FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS. THINGS STARTED GETTING WORSE, I STARTED FORGETTING SURROUNDINGS, STREETS I HAD BEEN ON, PLACES I HAD BEEN, FORGETTING MY MEDS, TURNING OFF THE STOVE, LEAVING PANS COOKING AND FORGETTING THEM, ALMOST BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN TWICE. I WOULD GRAB HOT PANS FROM THE OVEN WITHOUT MITTS ECT, THINGS WERE GETTING BAD.
                   I WAS SENT TO A COUPLE OF DRS  FOR AN SSI EXAM, I FLUNKED A MEMORY TEST, WHATS NEW? FIBRO FOG OR A PAST STROKE. I SAW MY PRIMARY WITH A LIST OF THINGS THAT WERE GONG WRONG INCLUDING NOW BECOMING INCONTINENT.THE FIRST THING OUT OF HIS MOUTH WAS ALZHEIMER'S, I SAID NAW CANT BE, I'M TOO YOUNG, I HAVE HAD PTS WITH THAT AND HAT IS NOT ME. HE IMMEDIATELY ORDERED A PET SCAN AND I WAS TO SEE HIM IN 2 WEEKS.WELL I WAS SCARED BUT WENT AND HAD IT DONE. I WAS SHOCKED WHEN I CAME HOME AND SHOWERED ONLY TO FIND I HAD AN ACCIDENT WHILE I WAS THERE, . I CRIED AND FELL MY HUSBANDS ARMS WHEN HE CAME HOME.
         I TOLD THEM AT THE TEST I WAS PICKING UP THE REPORT IN 2 DAYS, I WAS SURE IT WAS NEGITIVE SO NO PROBLEM. JOE TOOK ME TO PICK UP THE DISK AND WRITTEN REPORT, I READ THROUGH THE FIRST PAGE, ALL THE NUMBERS I DID NOT UNDERSTAND, THEN ON THE SUMMARY I READ, NO MASSES, NO FLUID, NO BLOCKAGE I WAS SO HAPPY THEN I TURNED TO PAGE TWO, IT SAID SEVERE HYPOMETOBOLIC ATROPHY IN BILATERAL TEMPORAL LOBES, C/O ALHEZIMERS. I COULDENT BREATH, MY CHEST HURT, THE TEARS FELL AND I STARTED TO HYPERVENTELATE.JOE SAID WHAT DOES THAT MEAN AND I SAID IT MEANS I AM BEING ERASED, THAT HOW I FEEL. I NEEDED TO CALM DOWN, GET MY PULSE AND BP BACK AND MADE A JOKE, WELL NOW YOU CAN TAKE ME TO THE VET TO GET A MICRO CHIP. HE DID NOT THINK THAT WAS FUNNY.
             WELL THATS HOW I FEEL, AS I MAKE APPOINTMENTS TO GET A LIFE ALERT WITH A GPS, GETTING ALARMS PUT ON THE DOORS, KNOWING I CANNOT BE ALONE AND KNOWING THAT YET AGAIN THERE IS NO CURE. I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NOT LOOK IT UP BUT I WENT TO THE MAYO CLINIC SITE, I CRIED YET AGAIN, DO NOT CRY ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU HAVE LUPUS OR FIBRO, YOU ONLY GET A MIGRAINE LOL .....FROM WHAT I READ THERE ARE 5 STAGES AND THE DR HAD SAID I WAS IN STAGE TWO. I WANTED MY PRIMARY TO TREAT ME FOR THIS AS I ADORE HIM, HE LISTENS AND IS VERY SMART, HE DID START ME ON MORE MEDS ONE MADE ME SICK NOW IM ON THE ARIFAT WHICH IS ALOS MAKING ME SICK BUT IT SHOULD SUBSIDE. I SEE NEURO TOMORROW, I DO NOT KNOW THIS DR BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE AS MEDICAID WILL ONLY PAY THIS ONE DR. ALL THE OTHER NEUROLOGISTS WIL NOT ACCEPT IT. IM SO SCARED, BUT PRAYING, YES I AM ANGRY, IM HURT, IM SCARED AND DID WANT TO THROW IN THE TOWEL, BUT I NEEDED TO REMEBER I AM NOT ALONE, I HAVE JESUS.... AND ALL OF YOU, WILL POST TOMORROW NEED TO GET READY FOR THE EYE DRS. SO I HOPE YOU WILL TAKE THIS JOURNEY WITH ME AND GAIN SOME UNDERSTANDING IF YOURSELF OR A LOVED ONE GETS THE SAME DEVESTATING NEWS.................... LOVE AND PRAYETS,
 DONNALYN