A brand-new start

Hi everyone,
      well today's going to be a new start. I saw the neurologist again yesterday and got some advice. I'm hoping this advice will help others going through all the different diseases that we are all going through. The doctor tried to put me on an antidepressant which I refused adamantly, however when she explained to me that all the stress I'm under is reduced and the chemicals in my brain I agreed and was put on Prozac 20 mg every morning. They are also starting a new Alzheimer's medicine but binoculars started until March 1 because they don't want to start me on to medicines at one.

Now the thing that she wants me to do is to take all my negative thoughts and write them down on little pieces of paper. All these negative thoughts about dying fear anxiety panic worthlessness helplessness, she wants me to write all these down and put them and went to my fancy Boxes. She then once Joe to take always negative feelings and put them on the top shelf my closet for two months. She said Bill still be there but she wants to put away for a while.

Now what I need to do is to follow the doctors orders, and not focus on the fact that I've probably had this disease for two years. All this time I thought it was lupus or fibromyalgia it was in fact Alzheimer's. She also showed me model the brain and temporal lobes and a pretty big and they very damaged I also looked at a book that our roommate had bought on Alzheimer's and it was for caregivers, but the first two pages I read about me regressing to a child's mentality I put the book down and realize that I can read stuff like that.

So despite the fact that my life is short and my faith is strong. I truly believe that Jesus will heal me I do not believe that he's going to come down to lay hands on me and I'm gone to be cured but I know he will heal me in his time. I truly believe that my heart is filled with the Holy Spirit and that will carry me through this. I need to count each day is a blessing, I need to praise Jesus every time I open my eyes every time I do my devotional, every time I think of how magnificent Jesus is I need to give praise. I've lost even more friends send get on this new disease but that doesn't matter to me. Maybe they just don't know what to say and yeah it does matter it hurts but I'll get through it I have a lot of people love me I'm a good person I don't deserve this but which one of us deserve to have the lives we have. I do know that Jesus did not give me these diseases, Jesus does not hurt those that he created in his image so if you're suffering and you don't remember anything remember that. Well before I do might sure that the doctor wants me to do and then I go back to bed, I get up at four and my eyes are really swollen shot and when I wake up and then look up praise Jesus let me wake up again and then I'm when I start my day.

Remember I love you all, and if you read this blog in you know people that are suffering give them a link to maybe one sentence of what I post that is very personal to me as you know and brutally honest might help them. I love all of you, I pray for you every day, and thereby reduce data and write in personal letters to those who gave me their addresses and then write a few more today. I pray you have pain-free day and I hope that this one moment today that you can laugh, just laugh no reason we all need to do that more talk to well soon. Love you