I justwanted tostart out this day of love by wishing everybody a happy Valentines Day.
I have to say I am truly blessed on this day, to be married to the most wonderful man in the world.
I give praise to Jesus several times a day even with all my illness I praise him for being able to open my eyes from my home, the food AE, for having Joe, and so lay next to him at night watching him breathe. I don't know how he does it as my moods change from moment to moment. Yesterday I spent the day crying in my pajamas and I started reading books on caregiving that we got the Joe and Craig. I myself could not read anymore of the horrors they going to face in the future. I'm hoping when see my neurologisthe will get me back on the med to regulate my brain function.
I don't recognize who I am anymore and one thing I'm confused about is I've never been afraid of anything I learned as a child not to be afraid just disassociate and remove myself from the situation hence the fear goes. I am now afraid to go outside to go to church to be around people. I'm afraid of what I'll say or do are how well act. I'm actually afraid of the fear. I've had guns literally puts my head, is a yam teenager I slept on top benches and Boston Common I lived in a combat zone for those of you that I'm from Boston your needs no more than that. I'm really afraid.
I did take one suggestion and that is to start get in addresses of my friends and not spend as much time on the computer but actually write letters like penpals everybody like snail mail and I knew computers would ruin the world. People don't know how to communicate openly and honestly anymore monistic behind the keyboard. So I'm than the start writing letters, Joe bought me a beautiful stationery set any also bought me a jigsaw puzzle which reminds me of our North. I called my uncle Russell's morning I actually woke my I've been up since five my sleep is all over the place I need to talk to him well I'm still lucid. There are very few people but I want to thank my life but my Russell is one of them he has always believed in me and has always been there any time I needed him.
Now I want to wish my sister Lori Slattery a very happy Valentine's Day. Lorrie is my baby sister of which I have one left Lori and I never got along our lives till I got really sick years me as a go and was in a, she came to me every day and spent the day with all the machines in dialysis and kept me clean wash my asks made sure they didn't tie me down she was there for me every step of the way. After that I couldn't figure out why we didn't get along. After that we became the best of friends and still are to this day. She is my strength, my hero, I look up to her and admire her for all she goes through, all the pain she lives with, and is an incredible mother on top of it all. She is brought my nephews in my niece out so well and actually she brought my son up to. I'm sorry I'm crying now. Lori is coming down in a week and a half now have or all to myself and I can tell her home much I love her. I can tell her that she's my hero and always will be in when I'm gone I can talk to Jesus and to beg him to please heal her pain .
I'm than a wrap this up now I'm going to have some coffee put all the phone numbers back in my phone work, puzzle and go to celebrate recovery tonight and give more praise to Jesus. I love you all and once again happy Valentine's Day.
No comments:
Post a Comment